I am not having a terrific day

I am not having a terrific day. I am sitting around moping about and feeling sorry for myself.

In the last year, or two, or so, my right knee has been acting up. It has been sore (terribly sore); it has given out for no reason and I just drop, dead weight, to the ground. Other times, there is a stabbing pain before the knee gives out. I have found this difficult to deal with, plus I get horribly embarrassed when this happens in front of people.

Yesterday, I went to my family doctor. He suspects I have osteoarthritis (OA) of the knee and he sent me for x-rays to confirm, I go back in two weeks for review, but he seems quite sure I have OA. If so, then I will probably require a brace. The news was not all that of a surprise; I knew there was something wrong, I just did not know what. Today; however, it put me in a ‘woe is me,’ kind of mood.

To say, “Having Cerebral Palsy (CP) is not easy,” would be an understatement. I have always strived to be, and do, my best. My parents encouraged this by treating me as another of their children. I tried not to let my struggles bother me, and for the most part, I was a happy kid. Although it my late teens and early twenties, I did suffer from depression because of poor self-confidence and worth. I over came this over time.

As I got older, the CP never got worse, but my body did. I discovered that tired easily, that I ached all the time and, in these last few years, that the spasticity in my legs has gotten worse. So, to hear that I might (and probably do) have OA on top of this; well to be frank, it kind of sucks. I have been doing a lot of research on OA and CP, and I discovered that a lot of other older persons with CP also suffer with OA, and chronic pain. This was disheartening, but at least I discovered I wasn’t the only one, and this is one small comfort.

I will continue as before; I will smile, I will live my life the best I can, and I will strive to look at the positives more than the negatives. Life is never easy. I learnt that as a kid. No one ever said it would be, but I have a good life over all with great family and a good circle of friends. To overcome the hardships of life, I learnt, one must concentrate on the good, more than the bad. One must stay positive, and one must count one’s blessings.
—Robert Confiant 1 April 2017

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