I shouldn’t watch

I shouldn’t watch “It’s get better” videos while I am drinking.

Some people that grew up with me, or who know me, have asked, “What is it like to be disabled and gay?”

When I was younger, this was a mute question.

No one I knew. Back then, no one knew, or they did; they did not say. Well, except one person (and I do not wish to name, the name. I never hid it. I had dates, but they never (and I mean never lead to another date). My disability hid a lot of questions, but truth be known, I was looking at boys; since, I was six years old. Me dis ability (sic), hid a lot of unanswered questions.

A lot of readers of my blog, may not have figured out that I grew up strict Catholic and I was as really close to going into the priesthood. When my eldest brother came out, I went ‘in’ (even though I wasn’t ‘out’). My brother dated, while I never did.

I now look back and I realize that my family would have been okay with my coming out; however, this was the time of ‘AIDS,’ and I wasn’t acting on my feeling, or desires, so when mom asked, “If I was gay.” I denied it. Although, by that time, I was ready to come out. I came out almost ten years later.

Eventually, I was out. It was the best thing to do – be honest to everyone. I wish I could re-do things, but I cannot.

I am happy, now, and this is all that matters.

May you be as happy as I.
—Robert Confiant 9 April 2017

 

 

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