Remembering a past time from reading a poem

I read a friend’s posting on Facebook a quote from Albert Einstein: “Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution.

It got me thinking about a poem by Max Ehrmann called, “Desiderata,” which I posted here in a previous post.

I first heard of the poem by my older brother. He was part of a young person’s retreat called, “COR” a group that I would later attend. 

It was fun; I got a lot out of it. It wasn’t well-known at the time, I was pretty messed up. I was suffering from depression and low self-esteem. Although I appeared to be happy, while I was attending the retreat. I was miserable the other times. I should have stopped attending the retreat after my first one because as I attended further ones, I brought the other people (the friends I made there) down. 

Eventually I the retreats ended, and I hit rock bottom. I tried to kill myself and later ran away; both, as a means of a “cry for help.” 

I did get counseling, and I enlist in Vocational Rehabilitation Centre; where I got job training and job search assistance with the provincial government. It was during the recession of the early eighties, so this was helpful. As I progressed through each stage of this program, my confidence increase. With this program and counselling, I felt better about myself.

Throughout all this, the Desiderata poem was an inspiration for me. It also, provided much need wisdom, and life advice. I lost the copy I had during a move, but I rediscovered it a few years ago. It still is valid advice on living. Especially, “The strive to be happy” part. 

I am happy now. I have great friends, a terrific family, a decent job with a good work environment (for the most part), and I have this: My writing.

I stopped writing when I went to counseling (It was a mistake. I see that now). At that time, it made sense as all my writing was negative and dark.

I re-discovered writing about seven years ago. I am glad I did. I found my thing, the thing that really makes me happy. I regret I ever gave it up. I believe I would have been a better writer by now. I am elated that I am writing again. It is part of me, and my writing is part of who I am.

I have found my passion. I hope you find yours.
—Robert Confiant 26 November 2017 (mod 29 March 2018)

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