Straights, marries and gays

Some gay men are into straight men and/or married men. Comments and jokes like: “Convert the straight,” and “What’s the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy? … Six beer” are often mentioned or joked around by some of these gay men. I am not one such person. If your straight or married, then I am not interested in the least.

Now I am old enough and experienced enough to know that there is more to identity that straight or gay. Contrary to the thinking of some, there is a greyness or “blurring of the line between these two extremes. The Kinsey Scale exist for a reason people.

I can’t say I haven’t been with men who claim to be bisexual, but I didn’t deliberately seek them out when I was single. In-fact if I had known prior to hooking up, I probably would have passed on having a goodtime. No offense to you bisexual dudes out there in cyber-land, but it just my issue.

I, in case you have not figured out, identify as gay. I didn’t always. I was more celibate that most priest apparently from what I gather in the news. I was until I was almost forty. I did identify as bisexual once in university, but that was only because I thought there would be less of an issue with it. Still a guy did try to pick me up in a bar once. I was so clueless that it fell through, but that was my self awakening to the truth about myself. Even though I came to the realization that I was gay, I still never acted upon it though. It was no big issue with not dating or seeing anyone because I also have a disability and most people don’t, still don’t, picture disabled persons as sexual beings. Nothing could be further from the truth of course, but disabled persons wanting sex… well that’s nonsense. LOL.

I didn’t mind though, my having a disability hid a lot of unasked questions which at the time I did not wish to answer.

My being gay – well growing up, it was more I was interested in boys than girls really – the gay thing was really a mute point as I never gave any indication that I was interested (in boys I mean). Growing up, the gay thing wasn’t an issue, but my being a person with Cerebral Palsy was. I was different, and as a kid, one did not wish to stand out. In-fact being a kid meant that I wished to blend in and be accepted. My having CP was not really an issue until high school when I met a new group of people I hadn’t grown up with. It was fine. It was different, but the experience wasn’t terrible. It is hard to place into words, but I guess it was the first time I experienced what it was like to have people either like me or not like me.

As a kid, I was always accepted. I never felt left out; however, in high school, I realized that this is not always the case.

I finally came out in my forties. A long time, I know, but it was freeing. In the early days of coming out, I explored what this means and what I preferred and disliked. When I first heard about the straight fetish and the married fetish, I knew they weren’t for me. I never picked my sexuality and I would not like it if I was pushed to being something I am not, so I would even consider trying to push it onto anyone else?

No, I like them, straights and marries, as friends, but that’s all.
—Robert Confiant 4 May 2019

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