I was watching one of my favourite shows, Doctor Who, last night and one character stated, and I am paraphrasing here, “When you’re old and wiser, no one wants to listen to you.” It got me thinking. Life rarely goes the way one expects.
When you’re younger, you think that school, and all its politics, is all there is. Some of the bullying, the lack of acceptance by certain click groups, and loneliness experienced by students is all there is, and that’s life. For those experiencing these negatives, I believe it true. They don’t, or can`t see, that school ends and things change. The issue is that when you’re younger, you want to be accepted and fit in. Let’s face it; the teenage years can suck for a lot of people. It’s an awkward time for many people.
This need to fit in isn’t so true when one leaves school. Individuality become more prevalent and is more accepted. When I got to university, no one cared that I had a disability and that I stood out from the norm. I was accepted for who I was.
But digress; I wasn’t always sure what I wanted in life (from life?). I didn’t know who I was. My father once told me that I would be in my forties, before I made a life for myself. He was right. It took me a long time to find myself and what I wanted. It didn’t help that up until then I was a closeted gay man.
I regained my confidence in my thirties, but life events forced me to remain at home. It wasn’t until this phase closed that I could move onward. I moved away, so I could start anew, “A clean break” sort of thing.
I moved to Vancouver and came out. I was finally my authentic self, a man who happened to have Cerebral Palsy and be gay.
The gay thing, I kind of went wild for a bit: Hitting the bars, hooking up and making buddies.
I was happy, and then lost my IT job. After searching for employment almost a year without success, took a clerical job. Then someone who knew someone got me a temp job with the city I am currently employed with.
It was shortly after this that I started writing again. I started with verse, then short stories, and later I self-published a YA novel. I am current working on a political thriller, and I maintain this blog.
Another unexpected event was that I met someone, we settled down, and we bought a place.
There were a lot of twist and turns along the way. It wasn’t always easy, but that’s life, eh?
—Robert Confiant 10 February 2020