This lock-down

This lock-down is taking its toll on me and I need to express myself.

I have been working from home since April 1st, 2020. Before then, I was off work due to a terrible cold and with the Covid-19 virus event happening, I was told to stay home. I am at high-risk with pre-existing conditions. I don’t mind being at home for the most part, although I do miss my co-workers. They are the reason why work is good. They help me get through the busy and stressful times.

Here are some of my co-workers.

Some of them are new, and I was just beginning to bond with them. They’re hard workers, all, so even the newer workers fit in. We have each other’s back and are quick to help the other when required without complaint. We’re a great team which helps because the workload can be too much sometimes. The other day they sent me a video of our supervisor’s surprise birthday celebration. This video made me miss being at work even more.

I have been somewhat blue over the last few weeks. I didn’t recognize this at first, but when I realized it, I decided I needed to write more. Writing is something I enjoy, so when I stopped writing on a regular bases, I should have taken it as the sign it was – I was depressed. Maybe not as bad as in the past; however, I was depressed. That’s the thing about depression, one does not always know when one is depressed. It creeps up on you. It’s insidious.

My boss decided to do a workout competition for the month of May. I signed up. One of the reasons I agreed to sign up was to use this to re-start getting back into shape. Since my late teens and mid-twenties, I have always struggled with my weight. It wasn’t always like that. When I was a kid, I was skinny and lean. I started gaining weight after I was 16 yo. At first, I never gave this any thought. It was a gradual weight gain. Eventually, I felt it was too late. Oh sure, I tried to lose the weight over the years with yo-yo diets and exercise. Near the end and with some success to the point where I enjoyed working out, I began to experience hip and knee pain. This increased and I stopped working out. The weight came back as a result, then the contest came up and I knew I needed to do something, so I enlist in the contest. I haven’t lost much weight. I have; however, lost inches from my waist to the point that I can see part of my feet when I look down, so this is encouraging. I believe I will continue this after the contest. We did this last year with doing planks, but I stopped at the end of the contest. I am determined not to let this happen this year. It feels different this time. I have cut down substantially with my drinking because I am on two meds which are extremely hard on my body. This is a plus. I might as well use the “not drinking lots” thing and this contest to launch a new aspect of my life. Specifically, starting a Non-diet. That’s what I am calling it as diets never worked for me. Another new beginning.

I don’t mind change. I go with the flow. I don’t mind failure either. I try to learn from my failures. Sometimes though, I have to learn more than once, lol. What can I say, “I’m pigheaded and a slow learner?” This sentiment is not so much now. It was; however, true of me in the past.
—Robert Confiant 17 May 2020

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