We all have our type

Straight or gay, male or female; whether we like to admit it, we all have our type.

Mine is dark haired, fit to chubby, somewhat hairy men. I am not ashamed to admit this, nor should one. It’s human nature to be attracted to what one is attracted to.

I grew up in a white Anglo-Saxon neighbourhood and until my late teens, or early twenties, that was my choice. As a closeted gay guy, I kept my looking as discretely as possible. Although, I still looked and sometimes I was even spotted looking by my friends who jazzed me about it at the moment, but then let it go.

In my mid to late teens, we had people of other ethnicities moved into the project. I never really was attracted to these people. I don’t think it was a conscious choice; it just was.

When I was 39, I moved to Vancouver in January of 2000. In March of that year I came out and started to hang around the Fountainhead Pub (It was a gayer place, than it is now).

One evening, after work, I met a gentleman of Japanese descent. He was really into me, but I wasn’t into him that way. I have always had friends of differing nationalities as myself, but I never really thought about going out with any of them. I was always attracted to men like myself. He called me on it stating that the gay community generally makes it difficult for people of differing nationalities and people of colour. He finished off his drink and he left the bar. I felt bad.

As a disabled person who cannot hide his disability, and as a gay man, I know what it is like to be different. This gentleman opened my eyes to my biases when it comes to picking up tricks, or eventually, dating.

As I have said, I have always accepted people for who they are regardless of what ethnicity, sexuality, or gender they were. If I disliked someone, it was because I disliked that person. I didn’t hate them due to some physical, or personal trait or aspect. It was something about their character which usually caused conflict. I try to look at the person. I wasn’t doing this in my bar pickups. But from the moment that man left, I changed.

Oh sure, I would be lying if I told you that white anglo-saxon men didn’t rock my boat, but other people of different nationalities also excite me (Although, they still had to be nice men).
—Robert Confiant 27 June 2020

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