This only first draft, so my goal for this year is to get it all out. I want to complete the first run and get the story on paper with all the chapters. Already, I can observe that snippets of the story will need to be reorganized to help with story flow. Right now, there is a part of the story in one chapter, and another related snippet in a different chapter. I can’t worry about this now; I mustn’t worry about it. At this junction, I need to concentrate all my effort to get the first draft written.
I haven’t thought much of those early years through much of my life except to say, “I used to, and still have bouts, of depression.” Before today, I have never expressed the events of those late teen and early twenties years. Until I decided to write a memoir, I just never saw a reason to rehash the past. Writing this memoir made revisiting the past an imperative.
My life day-to-day events would make for a boring read with the I get up, shower, eat, go to work, come home, eat, and go to bed Monday through Friday routine; and then Saturday and Sunday with their sleep in, get up, lounge about, drinking coffee, clean, or read or write, cook and eat, tiding up, watching TV or surfing the web, and finally going to bed. See boring, but writing about one’s emotional, intellectual and spiritual journey we call life; now, that’s exciting! It is especially so when one considers that the protagonist is a disabled, gay, once closeted, ex-Catholic.
I delved into the abyss. Without any spoilers, I returned to those dark days. I thought it might be difficult to return to that time – the time of my youth; it was not. I didn’t get every detail down, although I got the gist. It is enough for first draft and I am pleased by what I have written.
The work continues.
—Robert Confiant 11 July 2020