I find one cannot go back

This weekend, a guy on Facebook posted a video where the contractors’ had boarded up his old neighborhood court prior to demolition. They are redeveloping the project I grew up an area at a time. This got me Googling my old court house. It was still intact, but the court beside ours was redeveloped with a condo/low income own-to-buy.

I got to thinking about our next house, a small bungalow. It hadn’t change much except a separate side entrance to upstairs and an influence big ass tree in the front desperately requiring trimming.

It is sometimes good to look at the old neighborhood where one grew up or lived in; however, one can never really go back. I know. I tried it once or twice. It never truly felt the same. Years ago, I met an old childhood friend, who before he moved away was one of my closest friends. The two visits we had were good visits, but we never truly connected on the level we once shared. We were older and we went on to live different lives which we never shared. Time moves on and people change. It’s that simple. We were no longer kids with childhood issues such as getting through school. We were adults trying to etch out our careers and to find someone to share our lives with (Well, he was anyway. I wasn’t dating, nor wanting to). Long story short, we were heading down different paths.

I learned then that one can never go back no matter how much one would like.
— Robert Confiant 19 February 2019

Letting the sun shine in

The truth be told, “I wrote this on the way home from work last night.”

“Let the sun shine, let the sun shine, the sun shine in.

Let the sun shine, let the sun shine, the sun shine in.

Let the sun shine, let the sun shine, the sun shine in.”

Aquarius – The 5th Dimension 

It still sunny! It’s almost 5:30 PST and it is still sunny. 

What a glorious feeling! With all the snow the last few days, it feels good. My spirit is soaring with delight. It was a sunny day most of today and my mood brightened with the rays of sunshine pouring over me. Even though I work in doors, I took some time to absorb some rays; this put me in a good mood. It’s quite a chance from the last few days.

The past few days made me feel blue. I hadn’t realized it because I’ve been so busy at work. Until today, the sunny disposition I felt shed light on how blue I was feeling. I am not a fan of snow and now I know this fact definitively. My eyes are wide open to the fact that winter puts me in a Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD) mood. I have a light for SAD, but I haven’t used it much this winter. In hindsight, I think I made a bad decision in not using my lamp more this winter.

—Robert Confiant 14 February 2018

A better commute this morning

The forecast called for more snow last night. Luckily, it was only a dusting and most forecasters got it wrong. The commute into work is going easier this morning. Although, the bus was a little late and as a result it is crowded. I got a seat, which is good as I could not stand the whole trip to work.

It’s snowing steadier out this way (Richmond). There wasn’t much in New Westminster. I am beginning to wonder if I should have stayed home. “The deed is done,” I think I’ve been reading/watching too much Sherlock Holmes LOL. I will worry about it later today. I am the only clerk in until Thursday, so I feel an obligation to make it in to work. Besides, we’ve been crazy busy. There have been a lot of applications coming in both new and changes. I have managed to keep up, but my other work is lacking; although, I have been trying to do a bit of those duties too. It hasn’t been easy. I sure hope they hire someone so, but it probably won’t happen until March sometime (eight months the job will have been vacant). Oh, well.

The bus is moving slow and steady. Richmond is experiencing more snow. As long as I get to work safe, I don’t care how long the trip to work takes. It gives me time to write. I love to write when I get time.

This think, this writing, it balances my normal “9 to 5” existence. It keeps me going. I found the one thing that makes my day-to-day existence bright; although, I do have a good home life and a loving partner and a pet. Life overall is good. No complaints.

Robert Confiant 12 February 2019

It’s snowing and Vancouver cannot handle it

It’s snowing and Vancouver cannot handle it. I must say though New Westminster got a handle on its roads The roads in New West were somewhat cleared of snow.

Snowing in New Westminster (New West)

The SkyTrain and buses this morning, well the buses out New West way we’re okay, but the SkyTrain was partially down (This happens almost every snowfall). The tracks just cannot handle snow. I took me an hour just to go two stops to catch my bus (It will still take at least another hour to get to work). I’M,be informed my supervisor.

Vancouver area can barely handle a dusting of snow, never mind 10 to 15cm. It crazy really, but that’s the reality. I guess I should have left as soon as I awoke, but the SkyTrain still would have been an issue; although, it would have been less crowded. Oh well, I will cut my lunch time in half the next two days to make up for the lost time. It is good I usually leave early. I would be even later at work otherwise. But my family and friends back east would kill themselves laughing if they saw how we react here in the Lower Mainland when it comes to a bit of snow (Just Google “Vancouver news”).

The bus is good though. It is moving well. I just hope there are no accidents along the way. Most people drive too fast or too close too each other which isn’t good when most vehicles do not have winter tires. In fact some people here drive like it’s the middle of summer here. It is no wonder why those who speed end up in accidents. They lack common sense, if you ask me.

I love the Vancouver area. I like the covenant of having cities surrounded by the beauty and wonder of the ocean, rivers, mountains, and trees. This is why I like living here. But the way some people are…

Well sometimes, I just have to shake my head.
— Robert Confiant 11 February 2019

I am working on it

I have lost fourteen pounds since Christmas. It isn’t as awesome as it seems. I lost eight pounds in the first two weeks, and then I plateaued for over a month.

My brother was in town a little over a week ago and he commented on my weight gain (my heaviest weight ever; shamelessly to admit). I told him, “I am warning on it and that I lost eight pounds.”

I want to do things differently this time. I have lost count how many times I’ve tried to lose weight. Diets work for a while, but then I go back to my old habits. I am striving for a lifestyle change and new habits by cutting down on portion sizes, eating more vegetables, and true social drinking (and not what I previously considered social drinking. But if I want one or two drinks a week, then I will. So far, I haven’t wanted one).

It’s working. I have lost another six pounds. According to the Body-Mass Index (BMI), I am morbidly obese. I don’t believe one should go NY the BMI scale. I think realistically, one should carry ten to fifteen pounds above what the BMI states (in case, one gets sick. But more so, because it’s more realistic, I am 56 yo, I don’t care how old one is, I know 140 to 145 lbs is never going to happen besides 155 to 160 is more realistic weight, but at my age, I will settle for 170 to 175 lbs.

In any event, because I am not dieting, it will take a long time to get there and that’s okay. It took a long time to pack it on, so it’s going to take a long time to take it off. It’s about lifestyle and habit changes and these take time. Besides, I am bound to slip every once in a while; it’s human nature. The thing is not to fret, or quit just because one screws up once in a while (something I have done in the past.

Life’s a journey. I will keep you posted.

—Robert Confiant 7 February 2019

I have to work today

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I am working today. Normally I would be off, but I had to move my compressed day (CD): We get a CD every fortnight because we work extra time each day. I was off on Monday this week which felt a bit weird.

My co-worker mentioned yesterday that I must feel strange to be working on my CD, but I told him that I didn’t mind working since I don’t work my CD very often (rarely actually). I told him that the reality of my working today will occur next week when I have to work the full week (next Friday). Also, we are a good work team. We have each other’s back. I guess one may say, “We are team players.” I know this sounds cliché, but we really are.

These last three, or four, have seen a lot of changes in our department. People have retired and there have been vacancies in between (sometimes with large gaps between each of the hiring process). For some departments this might not be a big issue, but my department is small, so any vacancies and/or people on vacation affect us. The remaining crew usually pick up the slack (the work load rarely changes). On the whole, I would say we’re a good team; although, it can get stressful at times.

With my working today, it just feels like a normal day. Next Friday when I have to work, then the reality will sink in and I will dislike having to get up for work.
—Robert Confiant 1 February 2019

Somethings one cannot voice or write about

For those readers who write on blogs, have you ever come up with on idea or story for your blog, wrote it down, but never published it? I have.

When such occurrences happen, do you consider this omission to publish a detriment to your writing, or a kindness in keeping quiet, very similar to, “A lie of omission?” I do.

I must confess. I write a lot of personal topics. I am very open about myself and my life at the chagrin of some of my family. Because of this, I try to protect the people in my life as much as possible. I try never to name names or exact circumstances (under most circumstances anyway). It is this need to protect the people I love and care about that I do not publish every thought or article which I have thought of and/or jotted down in my writing app.

writing

Is this akin to the idea of “A lie of omission?” I believe so; however, I do so because sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes the truth hurts so much as to tear friendships and family apart. Thus, I keep such thoughts to myself.

My brother, who was in town on business, and I had dinner and two drinks each. While at dinner we compared the crazy price of housing between Vancouver and Toronto areas. After dinner while walking back to his rented car, he observed how easily I got winded easily and he stated as such; he also noted that I gained a lot of weigh. I wasn’t upset but agreed. I went on to explain I that I was working on it and I had lost nine pounds. Later, after he drove me home to the condominium, he came up to see it. He stated that it was kind of small, but a least it had a balcony that we could sit out on (I never mentioned that I personally don’t sit out there much as I dislike heights).

There are some truths some people can voice; there are still other truths which others would rather not hear. When does one know when is it safe to voice the truth and when to keep one’s opinions to oneself? That is the question.
—Robert Confiant 31 January 2019