For every query there is an answer, although that answer maybe a long time coming. Some answers are easily Googled; while some require life experience, whether from learning through experience, or by asking someone else. Some questions maybe answered through learning; while still other questions maybe answered in another life (near or at the time of death). Full acknowledgement here, I grew up Catholic and then went Christian, and I currently state that I am “Spiritual,” in that I don’t practice any religion, but I believe in God. Hence is why I state, “Near or at death.”

I have always believed one should strive to better oneself, either from learning, reading, or asking questions. I think this is our main purpose in life. I have never stopped question – Why are we here? What is our purpose? What is the meaning of life? In my journey of self improvement, I have employed many resources. There is schooling, reading, the “School of hard knocks,” which seems to be my go-to method, to be quite frankly about it, and seeking answers from others either though discussion, or debate. The internet can be a great resource, but one must weed out the B’s by referencing, and questioning and weeding out the illegitimate answers.

I read a lot. The news, philosophical articles, fiction (a lot of Sci-Fi and Fantasy). One may be surprised just how philosophical Sci-Fi books can be. I actually took a course at university which discussed the philosophical issues mentioned in Sci-Fi novels called, “The philosophy of Science Fiction.” We discussed such issues as: Sentience, cognizance, the meaning of life and death, morality, time travel, etc. I t was an enjoyable and interesting course, although I read a lot, and wrote numerous long papers on these subjects.

But in self improvement, one cannot limit oneself to just learning. One should consider how one interacts with other people. We are a social being after all – No one is an island. So, interacting with others is an important aspect of life. I strive for the motto, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” This notion is not easily lived by, but I do my best to keep this tenant. For someone of little patience, this is not an easy task, but I keep trying to improve. Trust me, sometimes this is difficult to do as I am not always patient with others. Still, I have to keep at it. I am good at keeping at things.

I will be on the journey of self improvement until my dying breathe. It is how I have lived my life. I do not see this changing at this stage of life.
—Robert Confiant 17 December 2018

In my previous post, I wrote on my lost of religion. I no longer believe in the institutional church and I believe its time has come and gone, so the question that follows is: What do I believe in?

I had my doubts. This happens to believers who constantly question tenet beliefs. This is natural. It’s how one grows in faith (Although, to be fair, questioning one’s faith has been known to lead to lost of faith as well).

I mentioned, previously, that I lost my faith; however, I still continued to pray and to believe. It became apparent that part of me still believed in God. I just didn’t believe in the God I grew up with.

For a number of years, I believed that there was a God. I still held the tenet of the Trilogy of the Godhead. I just questioned everything else. The role of the church, the role of priests, and the stance on its teachings: confession and forgiveness, the woman’s role within the church, the teaching on pro-life (abortion, euthanasia, and suicide), its stance on divorce (Although, this has changed recently), its stance on homosexuality, and the stance of celibacy. The reports of sexual abuse by priests in the late 1980s and all through the 1990s and a bit later, in Canada, the report on residential schools (by all denominations) turned me away from attending church. I believe the church lost its moral standing to teach or lead others in the faith.

I find myself church-less.

I still believe in the Trinity of the Godhead. I believe in the power of prayer (I just don’t pray for myself other than for guidance and for “Thy will be done;” since, everything else would seem self-serving and “Wish listing.” I don’t believe in praying for money, or things (God doesn’t care if you are living well here on Earth (Being a good Christian doesn’t mean you get rewarded with things. On the contrary, Jesus preached against putting things (money) ahead of one’s faith) “Then Jesus told His disciples, ‘If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.'”
Matt 16: 24 (NIV)

I try to live a good life. I attempt to treat others as I would like to be treated. I don’t always succeed, but I try my best. I haven’t intentionally set out to hurt anyone, but no one is perfect. I am only human. I haven’t always lived a holy life. I am tempted as much as anyone else, but I do my best.

I no longer do the confession thing (I follow the reformation tenant of seeking forgiven from God directly). I have stopped studying the bible, but I believe I will be returning to this practice; however, I am a firm believer that one does not find the meaning of life through studying religion itself. I believe the Truth will be found in faith, but that science and philosophy play a part in this discovery. I used to think of the search for truth as a coin, with Religion on one side and Science on the other side, and somewhere between these two schools of studies led one to the truth. Now I see, that philosophy also plays a role. By Truth, I mean the answers to all our questions, why are we here and what is our role (how do we fit in the big picture of things)?

So, this is where I stand. I will continue to search.
—Robert Confiant 25 August 2018

Footnotes:
Bible verses, https://biblehub.com/matthew/16-24.htm